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The feelings inside me that just won't go away

The feelings inside of me that just won’t go away . . . . . I like boys.   I’ve always liked boys.   On the playground in grade school, I liked to throw dodgeballs at   boys and play kickball with them.   In junior high, I still liked boys.   I played basketball with them and would occasionally challenge one of them to a game of 1 on 1, just to show them that a girl can have skills too.   It was quite satisfying when they had to admit that they were beat by a girl!    I even kissed a boy in 8 th grade.   It was disgusting, but aren’t all first kisses supposed to be gross and incredibly awkward.   In junior high, I liked girls too, but I began to notice it was not in the same way I liked boys.   What was wrong with me???   I quickly brushed those feelings aside, but they became the feelings inside of me; the ones that just won’t go away.   Looking back at my journals from when I was a teenager, there it was over and ov...